In today’s video, I discuss how to handle retroactive jealousy flaring up around the topic of long-term commitment.







Read or watch below to learn strategies for dealing with retroactive jealousy flaring up when you begin to think about the future.



















Zachary Stockill: For over 11 years of working on retroactive jealousy, I’ve received the same email and comment countless times.







It’s usually from guys struggling with retroactive jealousy who are thinking about proposing to their girlfriend or wife.







If that sounds like you, I have an important message for you in today’s video.







I’m Zachary Stockill, and since 2013, I’ve been helping people overcome retroactive jealousy.







I’ve worked with men and women around the world to help them strengthen their relationships.







If you’d like to learn more about my work, please click here.







Today, I want to share a comment from a viewer of my channel—someone who watches videos like this.







His name is Muhammad, and he writes:







“In your many years of dealing with retroactive jealousy, have you ever seen someone say their jealousy flares up as soon as they consider marrying their girlfriend?







I love my girlfriend, and we’re fully committed, but her past relationships really bother me.







It doesn’t affect me as much when I think of her as just my girlfriend, but the moment I feel she’s the one and I should propose, those retroactive jealousy thoughts take over.”







Do you know why that happens?







Before I answer, I want to quickly mention this for anyone new to my channel.







Retroactive jealousy refers to unwanted intrusive thoughts and obsessive curiosity about a partner’s past relationships.



















I also like to call these thoughts “mental movies.”







So, what Muhammad is describing is that the moment he thinks about marrying his girlfriend, these intrusive thoughts take over.







He’s asking if I’ve seen this before, and the answer is a definite yes.







Over the years, many people struggling with retroactive jealousy have told me about experiencing something similar.







When they think of their partner in a more casual way—without focusing too much on the future—they feel relatively okay.







But the moment they consider a deeper commitment, like marriage, those intrusive thoughts start to resurface.







But as soon as they start thinking about marriage, retroactive jealousy suddenly rears its ugly head.















There are a few possible reasons for this.







One of them could be as simple as how you assess the risk of marrying your partner.







On some level, you might see your partner as a bigger “risk” compared to, say, Jane down the street who’s only been with one guy, or Lisa, who has no past relationships.







You might see your partner as a riskier choice for a long-term commitment compared to other women.







If that’s how you subconsciously feel, then while you’re just dating and keeping things casual, her past might not bother you as much.







But the moment marriage enters the picture,